Seven days?! ADAM AND EVE?! WHAT THE FUCK! You've heard the Bible's version, now hear the truth.
Previously on My Thoughts on God, God got wasted, pissed on a rock and called it Earth. We continue......

God was so smashed that he started talking to himself!
"FUCK!........YOU'RE WASTED!"
"ME? ARE YOU SLERIOUS IM FANASTIC!"
" GIV.....GIMME THE KEYS.........AND W-WIPE THE POOP OFF YER LEG."
"NOW YOU LISEN TO ME, I AM.......NOT..DRUNK..........YOU'RE JUS' S-SOBBER. AND FOR YOUR INFOTATION.... MY BUDDY IZ GONNA DRIVE. "
*Poof* In a split second a man in the spitting image of God was placed on the Earth.
"HEH...HEH....WHO BROUGHT THE UGLY GUY......"
"You made me you prick."
"WELL A DAMN SHAME YOU ARE! AND IN REMINDER OF THAT IMMA CALL YOU A-DAMN!"
"Just Adam dude."
"BRO....SERILOUSLY.......YOU GOTTA DRIVE ME HOME. HEREZ THE KEYS TO THE MOTORCICLE!"
"........One, wipe the poop off your leg. You're soiling the land. And two, I don't think the cops will like seeing a naked guy on a motorcycle, with his dick flapping in the wind like its fucking riverdancing."
"FINE! IF YOUR NOT GUNNA DO THAT....THEN.....UM.......YOU SEE ALL THEEZE LITTLE FUCKERS ROAMING AROUND" *pointing to the creatures he just created*
"Um sure I guess"
"NAME 'EM THEN COME BACK TO-"
"What the fuck?! Are you serious? You put so fucking many."
"LOOK, I MAY NOT KNOW WHERE I AM OR HOW I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH MY PENIS STUCK IN THE CAR DOOR AGAIN, BUT I'LL FIX IT!"
And as if by magic God, with his almighty fingers removed the rib carefully and he started forming the shape of a-
"a broken rib?! Who the fuck do you think you are? You stole my rib and broke it in two. Good job asshole. What am I going to tell the wife and kids, 'Oh God decided to steal ONE OF MY FUCKING RIBS AND BREAK IT'?"
"HOW DO POSSIBLY HAVE A WIFE-"
"See the thing behind me that looks like a chicken?"
God puked all over himself and just sat in the clouds wallowing in his own vomit.
"AGH...DUDE......THAT'S FUCKING NASTY. I NEED ANOTHER BEER."
God threw up in the beer glass but drank it anyway.
"God, meet Whiskers, half human, half retarded chicken."
"I'M KILLING THEM."
*BANG*
"NOW TO FIND YOU A REAL BITCH, WHO WILL FUCK, SUCK AND/OR SHOVE UNUSUALLY LARGE OBJECTS UP HER VAGINA."
"Whiskers.....NO!!!!"
"GIMMA ANOTHER RIB!"
"Get your own."
God threw up on himself once more, forgot where he was, and fell asleep.

Will God ever create woman? Will Adam give up another rib? Will we ever see Whiskers the half human/retarded chicken again? Find out next time on..

My Thoughts on God Part 2 :Part B